Living free

Living Free

Living Free was a song that was written for my late cousin Rick. The song is a revisit to a time long past. A large portion of this time was centered on family, farm work, fishing, music, and hunting. A large portion of this time was spent with my two older cousins, whom at that time were more like my older brothers. In looking back now it is seems that we were always together. I can remember I could not wait until the weekend or the need to arise so we would go to their house or them to come to mine to catch up on work. I remember the old folks hitting Baseballs across the cotton field to the other side where we would fight over who was to catch the ball, Cow Pasture Football, fishing on the Catawba, hunting, popping Firecrackers and  playing in the woods. It may be hard to believe however we could get all of these things done in one Sunday after Church and family dinner, if we didn’t get caught going fishing or hunting, which was not allowed on Sunday. I find it hard to imagine now how we had time to play with all the fishing, hunting, hoeing Cotton, bailing Hay, and splitting firewood that had to be done. If I remember correctly the hoeing, splitting and bailing took up most of our time. After moving to the Island I was surprised with a visit from another younger cousin that I had not seen in a long while and the fact of his unfortunate accident while at Shaw AFB in which he got burns to a large portion of his body. He had recovered from the burns, however the ordeal damaged his heart and a transplant was required. As he walked in his first words was “where is the FG-110". As I dug it out from under the bed and opened the case the evidence of neglect was shown by the 2 inches of dust that I had to dust off. With his trademark snicker he said “not picking much I see”, and I replied with a reluctant “not as much as I should”. As we talked he began to tell of his new gig, and the excitement and sparkle in his eyes took me back to when we were kids. Unfortunately I now can’t remember the names or places however he told me of the new songs he was working on and how he loved to play the keyboards. He asked me if I had started to do any writing, my reply was “say what”.  He laughed and said “its in your blood, its just a matter of you discovering it”. Rick kept coming by and inviting us to come to his shows that were in the area before they went on tour. I kept putting it off and all of a sudden Rick did not come by as he always did. Some weeks later he stopped by and to my surprise he had a new girlfriend which was the reason for the missed visits. While at this visit Rick did not seem to be himself. He did ask if I had any new songs for him to try out, and I just laughed it off. After he left I found myself picking up the FG-110 and attempting what was a miserable attempt on what I wont even call picking. All of a sudden a thought came to me and I wrote it down and began what would become a never ending quest that would consume my soul and change the way I would look at life from then on. Living free became an obsession and it was my hope that Rick would use it in his show. While Rick was inland taking care of some medical problems, and I was at MACS New River, I finished the demo of living free and was looking forward to giving the demo to Rick. I remember making the call home to check when Rick would be coming back and finding out that that he had just died. I remember looking at Rick in the casket and all the thoughts that were running through my mind. After getting back to the Island all that I could think about was Rick and music, and how I was missing the joy of picking. This sparked an inspiration for writing and music that I never knew existed. I became possessed by the passion writing and composing. As I began to think more about Rick’s short life, I could not understand the reason why he had to leave this earth so early. These thoughts and a trip to visit the Wall Memorial, which rekindled the memory of another cousin from across the creek, inspired a thought for another song that could pay tribute to Cousin Wayne and his short time on this earth also. Cousin Wayne was killed 3 Dec. 1968 in the the Nam while serving with an Air Calv. Unit. As many others do I went to the Wall searching for Ghost, however I found none there. After the visit I did realize that I did find many memories that would inspire me to follow my passion for art. While traveling back the idea for Searching just popped into my mind. In working with the song I realized that the Ghost I was searching for were in fact there, however as inspiration in a spiritual sense. I tried to follow the inspiration that was being revealed to me however it was hard at first to put down lyrics due to the fact I do not have the proper education to be proficient in doing so, and would always find something more important to do. A shop accident that almost took my ability to be a picker opened my eyes to see through the trees to the actual forest. Now I was more determined than ever to make my dream happen no matter what. Before long with a lot of determination a good Doctor and Physical Therapist I was back in the “gruv” again. I got all those ragged pages out and began a catalog and working on lyrics and melody’s, and to my amazement picking again. I truly believe that if Rick would not have stopped in and I would not have had the accident, I would be ashes in the Catawba River. Rick gave me the inspiration needed to follow my dream.  I will never forget him or those special memories that we shared together.  I owe Rick a lot for those last few visits and I would like to share something that he inspired me to write. Rick never lived on a farm. He did not hunt or fish. However we shared one important gift that is bountiful in our family. The gift is Art, and it is in many forms and styles. Rick and I shared the love of music more than anyone ever knew. In some ways music for us was as important as life it’s self. I can rest assure that Rick at least tasted his dream in the short time he had on earth. Unknowingly he inspired me to take a second look and realize my dream before it as too late. These following inspirations in words are inspired by the memory of my late cousin and friend. “Don’t make the same mistake I almost did, using your common sense to follow your dreams, think two steps ahead walk two steps behind, never wait until time is right, it will just run out, never depend on lady luck, make her depend on you, last but most important remember, some of us will not have a Cousin Rick, some of us will be Cousin Rick”.

                                                      RAH © (p) 2005